


And So He Fell (AKA 5 times Lucifer couldn't talk about the Fall and 1 time he could)

by eating_custardinbed



Series: My own lil Lucifer-verse [1]
Category: Lucifer (TV)
Genre: 5+1 Things, Amenadiel just doesn't know how to deal with Luci, Completed, Dan is clueless, Ella just wants a hug, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Fluff and Angst, God is a dick, Linda is a fabulous therapist who just doesn't know what to do, Lucifer is going through some shit, Lucifer was an adorable kid, Maze has no clue, Some actual h/c, Trixie is adorable
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-21
Updated: 2019-03-04
Packaged: 2019-11-01 21:30:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 13,744
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17875211
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/eating_custardinbed/pseuds/eating_custardinbed
Summary: "And the devil, who deceived them, was thrown into the lake of burning sulfur, where the beast and the false prophet had been thrown. They will be tormented day and night for ever and ever"- Revelation 20:10Post Season 3, Pre Season 4 (which broke my heart, btw)Lucifer has never been one for emotions, particularly. Maybe that's why he struggles so much with the idea of the Fall.





	1. Number 1: Linda

"So... how are you feeling?" 

Linda knew it was a flimsy question at the best of times, especially now. As she regarded the man in front of her, she couldn't help but wonder about the true omnibenevolent nature of God. Lucifer looked- excuse the pun- like hell. There were huge dark circles under his eyes, and his stubble, usually shaved and styled down to the very last hair, was starting to look a little unkempt. His hair was wildly curly, and if Linda didn't know better, she would've said that he looked a little like he was coming down with a cold, his face gaunt and pale. It was his eyes that hurt her the most. His eyes, filled with so much pain and heartbreak, swimming with tears, the very eyes she couldn't even bring herself to meet. 

His hands shook as he reached into his pocket for his flask. Trembling was too light a word. He could barely unscrew the cap, and Linda reached over, plucking it from his grip. "No alcohol during session, Lucifer." 

"She won't talk to me," the club owner suddenly whispered. He was looking at the floor, his hands fidgeting incessantly. 

"Chloe?" Linda asked. She chose to ignore the wince, and the flash of pain that made itself known on Lucifer's face. 

"Who else would it be, Doctor?" he spat. Anger. That was more normal, more like Lucifer. "She hasn't called. Ever since... well, I'm sure you already know the details." 

"And how are you dealing with all of that?" Linda said, tapping her pen on her notepad. "I know that you don't do well with, um, these circumstances. After your brother's death-" 

"This is nothing like what happened with Uriel!" Lucifer roared, cutting Linda off. His eyes flashed red as he stared up at her, his fists clenched on his knees. She wasn't scared. This... she was used to this. "People like Cain are supposed to die, that's why there are people like me." 

Linda paused for a moment to consider this. Having been raised with no particular religion, she wasn't too well-versed in Biblical accounts, but she'd been brushing up. 

"Cain?" she repeated. "As in first-murderer, killed-his-own-brother Cain?" 

"Manipulative, fucking dick-pressed wanker, yes," Lucifer replied angrily, folding his arms across his chest. "He hurt her! And he was running an underground criminal organisation, but that doesn't matter really." 

"And you say  _people like me_?" Linda said. "What do you mean by that?" 

Lucifer paused for a moment to consider the question. He seemed to stop stewing in his anger, to truly think about his answer. He opened his mouth, then shut it again. Seemingly, he didn't know what to say. 

"I haven't been sleeping well, Doctor," he said. Linda's shoulders slumped. 

"You're avoiding the question, Lucifer," she said. "Speak to me. That's why we're here." 

"Getting to that, it's next on the list," Lucifer snapped. Almost immediately, he looked up and his eyes grew soft, the anger simply dissipating from him. "Doctor, I'm so sorry, I've upset you. It's all I can do, it seems." 

"No, it's fine," Linda assured him. "This is all about you, we take things at your pace. Why haven't you been sleeping?"

_Lucifer had always been a curious child. Even as a toddler, his mother used to joke that he would end up falling off the edge of the Silver City in order to quench his thirst for more. He always wanted more. Amenadiel, Michael, Gabriel, all of the others were perfectly content with just being. Samael, however, the youngest of them all, wasn't satisfied. He needed more._

_"Dad?" the small boy called as he ran into the garage of their enormous house. He was five millennia old, but he looked about five. His wings were out, throwing light around the room._

_"How many times, Samael, you are to call me Father?"  the man hunched over a small table said. He didn't even turn to look at his son, and the boy immediately drooped, even his wing tips lowering and becoming less bright._

_"I'm sorry, Father," he mumbled._

_"Isn't your mother supposed to be looking after you?" his father said, finally standing up straight and turning to him. "Can't you see I'm busy?"_

_"I wanted to see what you were doing," Samael shouted excitedly, rocking on the balls of his feet. At his father's disapproving look, he fell still. "Sorry, Da- Father."_

_"I should hope so," the older man said disapprovingly, turning back to his table. Samael crept forward, peeking over his father's shoulder. There lay an inky blackness. It looked infinite, and Samael was transfixed at the sight._

_"It's incredible," he whispered in awe._

_"Let there be light!" the Creator cried, pushing his hand towards the dark. Nothing happened. He sighed heavily, turning away to start walking towards the garage door. He was about to turn back and yell at Samael to follow him, but what he saw stopped him dead in his tracks._

_Samael's small hands were outstretched, his little face screwed up in the very epitome of concentration. From his fingers flowed a stream of light, of stars and supernovae and beautiful things that could barely be described by any language. The Creator stood, unable to move, to say anything. Here, in front of him, was the solution to his problem. And it had been right under his nose this whole time!_

_It seemed that Samael had run out of energy, as the light stopped abruptly and the boy swayed before falling to his knees. He was exhausted, his efforts having taken every last bit of strength out of his body. The Creator came forward, sweeping his son up into his arms._

_"'M sorry, Father," Samael said, his voice weak and frail. His soft brown eyes were glued to his father's. "Didn't mean to meddle."_

_"You did just perfectly," the Creator replied softly, pressing a kiss to the child's forehead._

_When Lucifer viewed that memory again in ten millennia's time, he viewed it very differently._

"I...I..." Lucifer stammered. He didn't know how to word his feelings. These emotions... he'd bottled them up for eons, for almost as long as he could remember. It wasn't as simple as Linda thought. He couldn't simply just spill everything at once. "I don't know how to explain it." 

He looked down, his cheeks burning. He was ashamed of it. Even the detective's spawn could tell people what she was feeling, but he couldn't? It was insulting, to say the least. Emotions. Pesky things. 

"And that's not a bad thing," Linda said, as if she'd been reading his internal monologue on a small screen he couldn't see. "We can work on, and I can show you strategies to help you to control how you're feeling." 

Lucifer let out a dry laugh. 

"Didn't go so well last time," he remarked, crossing his legs and looking up at her with vulnerable, soft brown eyes. "Now, Doctor. What do I do about Chloe?" 


	2. Number 2: Ella

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lucifer returns to the precinct to give his statement regarding the Sinnerman shootings, and ends up simultaneously revealing himself to Ella and questioning his childhood once again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Think this one is gonna be a little longer than the last one. Hope you enjoy!

"I killed Pierce." 

He said it so casually that it didn't seem real at first. The interviewer blinked once, then twice, then a third time before staring at Lucifer with a strange look on his face. The self-proclaimed Devil had tidied himself up considerably since his meeting with Linda, his stubble as perfect and as fierce as always and his Armani suit, the one with the purple-backed waistcoat, was neatly pressed and as sharp as ever, almost like a suit of armour, protecting him from harm. Indeed, the devilish grin on his face combined with his casual posture gave him an overall air of off-handedness, as if he didn't really care if he was staring the shark straight in the mouth, just centimetres from its snapping jaw and razor-sharp teeth. 

"Mr Morningstar, you do realise that you have just admitted to a capital offense?" the interviewer said tremulously. He was a small, nervous man, with an oversized suit and an unfortunate perspiration problem. "To murder, and of a police officer, no less?" 

"Oh, did I forget to mention?" Lucifer said, the grin not leaving his face. "It was all in self-defense."

"Self-defense?" the man repeated, raising his eyebrow, obviously skeptical. "That knife was driven through Lieutenant Pierce's chest with almost superhuman force. That is not self-defense!" 

"He came at me with a knife, what was I supposed to do?" Lucifer exclaimed. He sat up now, attentive as he shed his suit jacket and rolled up his sleeve, displaying the still-healing gash. True, he healed extraordinarily quickly, but this was demon steel, and there had been no aftercare to the wound, so it was taking its sweet time. "See? If my time with the LAPD has taught me anything, it's that wounds like this," he gestured to his arm, "are defensive." 

The interviewer sighed, removing his glasses and slowly and steadily wiping them on his tie. His eyes never left Lucifer, who was rolling down his sleeve and shrugging on his jacket. This case was one of the most difficult that the interviewer had ever worked, and one of the most complicated. The crime scene was baffling, the witnesses were uncooperative and now he was having to deal with the infamously annoying Lucifer Morningstar. He exhaled heavily, replacing his glasses and leaning forward, clasping his hands on the cold metal table. Lucifer copied the gesture. 

"Mr Morningstar-" 

"Mr- terribly sorry, I didn't catch your name?" Lucifer said, his voice as smooth and sweet as honey. The interviewer never usually gave out his name, but he found himself unable to stop the words falling from his mouth. 

"Um, Simmons. Alistair Simmons." 

"Alistair, Al!" Lucifer laughed, clapping Simmons on the shoulder. "Now, what does a man like yourself want, hm? What do you desire?" 

Lucifer's stare was hypnotic, and Simmons found himself nodding along with the man opposite him, the man he was supposed to be interviewing, for Christ's sake! 

"I want..." he mumbled, managing to stop himself. 

"Come on, Ali, we don't have all day," Lucifer said, just curbing his impatience and keeping his voice sweet. 

"I want... I want to grow the biggest marrow in all of California," Simmons proudly announced. He didn't realise what he'd just admitted, however, and then his cheeks lit up like Christmas lights. 

"Strange one, but not the strangest I've ever heard," Lucifer said, shaking himself before leaning further towards Simmons with his shit-eating grin. "Now, can you and I come to some sort of agreement?" 

Simmons gulped, wiped a hand across his perpetually sweaty forehead and nodded. 

888888

Ella Lopez had worked a lot of crime scenes in her time, but this had to be one of the freakiest. 

There were bullet shells everywhere. Literally  _everywhere_. The total count had come to over a hundred, and yet there were barely any bullets present on the scene. One had hit Chloe, but her vest had spared her. Lucifer didn't appear to have a scratch on him, other than that gash on his arm. But Ella wasn't stupid. Something else had happened in that room, with Lucifer. Chloe had been babbling all week, something about Lucifer actually being the Devil. Ella brushed it off as nothing more than shock. She did suppose, though, it would explain how that knife had been driven through Pierce so hard. It had pulverized the bones to little more than dust. It was vicious, but Ella didn't think Lucifer- or indeed any other human- was capable of it. 

However, one of the weirdest things that had shown up at the crime scene was feathers. Tons of them, beautiful white things blemished with bloodstains. They seemed to almost glow. When Ella tried to test them, her computer simply showed an  _error_ message for forty-five minutes and eventually had to be rebooted. 

"How?" she murmured, looking up just in time to see Lucifer trying to sneak out of the precinct unnoticed. "Lucifer, hey!" she shouted, dropping the feather she was holding in order to rush over to where he was by the vending machines. Upon seeing her, he hastily abandoned his purchase (and probable theft) and attempted to speed walk away from her. No-one was too fast for Ella Lopez, and she caught his arm, pulling him into her lab despite his very vocal and colourful protests. "Dude, where have you been? It's been, like, a week, and Go-" 

She stopped herself at the thunderous and almost haunted look on his face. "Goodness knows I could use your help on this crime scene." 

"There's nothing I can tell you, Miss Lopez," he replied stiffly, wrenching his arm from her grip with a surprising amount of strength. 

"Hey," Ella said, catching his arm again before he could turn to leave. "Talk to me. I'm here for you, if you need someone to vent to." 

"What is it with you people and talking?" Lucifer huffed, not even trying to get away from Ella now. Instead, he simply slumped, apparently giving up completely.

"It's healthy," Ella replied, pulling him over to a chair. She forced him to sit before sitting next to him. "Y'know, let your feelings out, let someone else help? I used to do it loads with my mom." 

"Yes, well, my family isn't so  _vocal_ ," Lucifer said, his lip curling a little in distaste. 

"Not gonna lie, dude, but your parents sound pretty shitty," Ella said. "I don't know what happened to you, but it must've been bad." 

Lucifer tried to speak, to get the words out, but all he could do was nod as his eye caught the edge of a blood-stained feather on Ella's table. 

_"C'mon Sam! You can do it!"_

_"You've just gotta jump and trust them!"_

_"Get down here with us!"_

_Two millennia had passed since that first day in the garage. Samael's powers had grown, as had his wings. It was now time, his father said, to begin flying._

_Being the youngest, Samael was naturally curious about flying. He watched his siblings soaring around the Silver City, and he had always looked wistfully at his own wings and wished that he could do that. Now, though, that he was stood at the top of the house, his toes hanging off the edge of the cold white marble, butterflies were dominating his stomach and he could barely look down without screwing his eyes tightly shut._

_"They're right, you know."_

_He jumped as his mother's purring voice materialized out of nowhere in his ear. One of his feet slipped from the room, and he immediately clung to his mother for support, burying his face in her stomach as he gasped in fear._

_"It's alright, my Light Bringer," she soothed, one hand on his back and the other in his hair. "But someday you will have to jump and use your wings."_

_"But it's so far," he said, his voice muffled by her dress._

_"It may seem it," she replied. "Once you've done it, it will seem like nothing."_

_Samael trembled as he nodded, giving his mother one final squeeze before letting her go and shuffling towards the edge again. His breath hitched in his throat as he looked down, but he simply closed his eyes, spread his wings and let himself fall forwards._

_Flight was nothing short of euphoric for Samael. He adored the weightless feeling, the wind ruffling his feathers as he soared through the sky above the Silver City. For Lucifer, flight was nothing more than a painful reminder of how utterly controlled he was._

What brought Lucifer back into reality was Ella's soft gasp. He looked at her hurriedly only to see The Look, the one he'd come to associate with the revelation of divinity, most pressingly the existence of the Devil, and therefore seemingly true evil. 

It was his eyes. It had to be his eyes. His skin wasn't burning, and it didn't feel charred or damaged like when he was in his 'true' form. As quickly as he could, he changed them back to the soft dark brown of his human form, but the damage was done. Ella was staring at him open-mouthed, her face the very picture of shock. 

"Miss Lopez, I..." he tried to say something else, something comforting, but he couldn't find the right words. Ella had always been so kind to him, so trusting. He looked down, not wanting to see that trust disappear in an instant. 

"So... you never lied?" Ella stammered after a full five minutes of uncomfortable silence. "You're actually the Devil?" 

"I've never lied to a single one of you," Lucifer said. His voice was quiet and a little shaky. "It's one of the things I pride myself on, actually." 

"Duuuuuuuude..." Ella breathed, hitting him rather hard on the arm. Lucifer hissed in pain and clutched his arm, and then his eyes widened in shock with just a little bit of fear. 

"Chloe," he mumbled as he scrambled up. Ella caught his arm before he could go. 

"Hey, you've got some explaining to do, mister," she demanded. Lucifer gave her a pleading look, trying to tug away. 

"Okay, yes, I'm the Lord of Hell, yes, my father's a prick, yes, those feathers at the crime scene were mine, yes, I'm fine, no, I do not make you commit sins, that's all on you," he rattled off tiredly, as if he'd had to do this talk a million times. "Anything else?" 

"One thing, actually," Ella said. Lucifer closed his eyes and inhaled sharply, apparently trying to stop himself from going completely ape-shit. 

"What?" 

"Why are you avoiding Chloe?" 

Lucifer didn't answer. He simply wrenched his arm from her grip and straightened his suit, checking out of the window to make sure that Chloe was not in sight. 

"I'm sorry, Miss Lopez," he said stiffly. 

Before Ella could say anything, Lucifer was gone from the precinct and she was once again alone with her suddenly explained crime scene. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Eh, not too bad, I suppose. I love Ella to bits. Trixie next, and Chloe's going to show up because y'know, why not? Possibly getting uploaded later tonight. Comments and Kudos appreciated! Love you all Xxx


	3. Number 3: Trixie

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> With Lucifer back in the precinct to hear the final ruling on the Sinnerman case, Trixie takes the opportunity to talk to her best friend. She's been missing him for a while now, and she wants to know why he looks so sad...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I fucking love Trixie to bits. I have a feeling Season 4 will see tons of Lucifer and Trixie cuteness. Anyways, enjoy!

It was unusual for Lucifer to not want to be noticed. One of the greatest benefits that he found as a result of his irresistible charm was that he was always noticed wherever he went. The only time he hadn't been noticed was when he was learning to Douche. Speaking of whom, Daniel was standing barely two feet from him, his eyes boring furious holes in Lucifer's back. Lucifer himself was at the very edge of the room, in one of his least noticeable suits, a plain black number with no waistcoat and a white shirt. He'd almost put on a baseball cap before leaving Lux, but he'd decided that that would just look silly. So, here he was, waiting to talk to Simmons something-or-other (Lucifer had dubbed him Marrow Man in his mind) about the outcome of the whole Pierce debacle. Having given the Marrow Man a, ahem,  _special_ fertilizer for his vegetables, he was confident that no ill effects of this investigation were about to rain down on him. A deal's a deal, after all. 

Everyone and anyone who was anybody in the precinct was there, itching to hear the Internal Investigation's ruling. Rumours had been flying around the precinct ever since the doomed sting, especially about a one Mr Lucifer Morningstar. Everything knew something had gone down with him regarding Pierce's death, and the more cynical amongst them remarked dryly that they would soon be seeing the back of  _that arrogant posh prick_. Lucifer could practically feel them staring him down from the other side of the bullpen, but chose to studiously ignore them, only acknowledging their presence every so often with little fleeting glances and glares thrown in their general direction. 

As Simmons appeared at the front of the crowd, the low murmur of chatter that had been present in the room immediately ceased, and everyone's attention was on the trembling short man at the front. Simmons wiped his forehead on his sleeve, his eyes catching Lucifer's. He gave the club owner a wink before clearing his throat and addressing the crowd. 

"Ladies and gentleman, I'm sure you are all aware of Lieutenant Pierce's unfortunate and deeply upsetting demise," he said. Almost everyone rolled their eyes at that. "However, he was also running one of the biggest criminal organisations in LA right under our noses. So maybe it's not so sad after all, hm?" 

A ripple of laughter ran through the crowd. Lucifer didn't chuckle, didn't even smile. Hands in his pockets, he was looking around the bullpen. Chloe was bound to be here somewhere. Not that he was being creepy, of course. He just wanted to make sure she was okay. She had been engaged to the man less than a month ago, for goodness' sake! And there she was, leaning on her desk, focusing attentively on Simmons. Of course. She'd always been like that. 

"Anyhow, as he was a member of the LAPD, we are obligated to investigate the circumstances regarding his death," Simmons continued, in his stride now. "And we have found that Detective Decker and her partner acted not only in the way that they saw fit, but they also acted impeccably, and Mr Morningstar, under the circumstances, was given no choice except to end Lieutenant Pierce's life, a choice, I assure you, that was an extremely difficult one for him. No charges will be brought against him or Detective Decker." 

Oh, fabulous. Lucifer felt as if Simmons had just put a spotlight right on him, which he might as well have done, given that everyone was staring at him now. Well, everyone but one. Chloe was determinedly staring straight ahead, focusing on a spot just above Marrow Man's head. The club owner looked hurriedly down, suddenly feeling as if his chest was too small for his lungs, which had never been a problem before, so why was it a problem now? He tried to take a deep breath, but it just didn't seem to be working, so he stuck to short, shallow breaths. Slowly, though, so it wasn't too noticeable. Even so, he felt Dan's attempts at lasering a hole in his Versace soften a little. 

"But what about the Sinnerman organisation?" someone called from the back of the room. The murmurs all joined together in a chorus of "yeah"'s, "uh huh"'s and "mm hm"'s. 

"Pierce and the henchmen found dead at the scene will be prosecuted post-humanly," Simmons replied sharply. "Any other remaining members will be caught and prosecuted accordingly." 

It didn't placate the crowd, but it was all Simmons was offering. He raised his hand as some sort of parting gesture to them before turning on his heel and walking out of the bullpen, ignoring the chorus of shouts and yells that followed him. 

Lucifer wasn't listening to any of them, though. His sole focus at that moment was Chloe. The quivering of her chin, the muscle tensing in her jaw lead him to believe that she was holding back tears, as so not to embarrass herself in front of her friends, colleagues and ex-husband. Lucifer wasn't sure where he fit, but he was pretty sure that she knew he was here now, despite his efforts to blend in and be inconspicuous. He was so absorbed in his attention on Chloe that he didn't see or hear Beatrice making her way towards him, at least not until her arms were thrown around his middle and she shouted happily, 

"Lucifer!" 

"Gah, child!" Lucifer exclaimed, immediately moving his body as far away from her as physically possible, raising his arms awkwardly above her so they were suspended in mid-air. Trixie's grip was like a vice, and he couldn't prise her off. "Shouldn't one of your keepers be looking after you?" 

"Becky just dropped me off here," Trixie said, looking up at him. "I'm looking for my mom, but I haven't seen you in forever and you looked sad, so I wanted to make you feel better." 

Lucifer gave her a curious look, gently lifting her arms from around him and moving her to the side of him. Dan was behind him, he knew that, but the Douche didn't seem to be doing  _anything_ , so Lucifer was just stalling now. 

"I don't know what you mean, spawn," he mumbled, avoiding her gaze. 

"You look sad," Trixie said. Her head was cocked to the side a little as she stared up at him, and Lucifer was struck at just how like her mother this little girl was. "When you think my mommy can't see you." 

"You're not making any sense, child," he said. 

"Why are you sad, Lucifer?" 

_Samael was tired._

_His father had had him working hard all day, creating galaxies and stars and nebulae. Sure, Samael enjoyed creating these things. Loved it, in fact, but it was hard, hard work, which sapped every part of energy from his being. He was exhausted, but his father wanted more. Always more._

_"Come on, Samael, just a few more stars and then you're done for the day," his father said. He thought he was being encouraging, but it was just depressing._

_"Please, Father," Samael begged, his shoulders slumped as he turned to his father in despair. "I'll get up early tomorrow to do it, I promise. I don't think I can manage it today."_

_The Creator sighed heavily, turning to his son with anger flashing in his eyes as he glared at his son._

_"Samael, you will do what I say when I say it," he roared. His voice was loud enough to make the entire room rattle, and Samael cowered, covering his head with his arms and dropping to his knees, curling up in a bid to protect himself lest his father's wrath rain down upon him._

_"Please..." he stuttered._

_"SAMAEL! MUST I REPEAT MYSELF!?"_

_That had Samael scrambling upwards and flying towards the construction table, where the blackness that was slowly turning to light lay. Extending his fingers, he closed his eyes and willed the light to flow from him. His body protested, sending a jolt of pain down his spine. He gritted his teeth and begged it to flow, just so he could go to sleep. Grudgingly, the light came._

_**Bang!** _

_Samael was thrown backwards, as was the Creator, and the two hit the other wall with a loud crash, falling to the hard floor. The Creator was the first one up, rushing towards the construction table to examine what had happened._

_"Samael, you idiot!" he growled, gesturing to the blackness. "You've made a black hole!"_

_Samael, unable to answer, simply groaned from his crumpled position on the floor. His father strode over to him and picked him up by his collar, shaking him fiercely. Their faces were barely an inch from each other's, and Samael could feel his father's hot breath on his cheek. He closed his eyes, awaiting his father's punishment..._

_"Husband!"_

_He opened his eyes at the sound of his mother's voice, and his father dropped him quickly, sending him tumbling to the floor. He hit the ground hard, but he managed to crawl over to his mother, hiding behind her skirt and clutching at her arm when she offered it to him._

_"Wife," the Creator coughed, avoiding her gaze. "I was just-"_

_"He's only ten!" she yelled, her hand on Samael's shoulder unconsciously tightening. "He's tired! Amenadiel, Michael, the older ones are worried! They heard the bang!"_

_"I'm sorry," the Creator tried to say, but his apologies fell on deaf ears. "I didn't think that it would bring about such disastrous consequences!"_

_"Well, what did you think would happen?"_

_"I just thought that he would be able to do one thing right!"_

_"Oh, so it's his fault now? His fault, hm?"_

_Samael stopped listening, clamping his hands over his ears and closing his eyes. He hated when his parents argued, especially if it was over him._

_Eons later, Lucifer would come to see that it wasn't just that one time. It was every day. And maybe that's why he was so emotionally inarticulate._

"Monkey! What are you doing with him?" 

That was the detective's voice, wasn't it? Lucifer shook himself out of his memories and immediately assumed a deer-in-headlights expression, shoving the child towards her mother. 

"She approached me," he said quickly, refusing to meet her eyes. 

"I just wanted to talk to him, Mommy," Trixie piped up, looking up at her mother with bright eyes. "He looked sad again." 

"Monkey, why don't you go and see if you can find your Dad?" Chloe said quickly. Trixie nodded and ran off, leaving Lucifer with no escape plan. He looked everywhere that wasn't Chloe, mumbling something resembling an apology. "You. Holding cell. Now. We need to talk." 

Normally, Lucifer would have made some dirty quip about doing something other than talking, but he simply couldn't bring himself to it as Chloe lead him to the holding cell, closing the door firmly behind them. 

"What has been going on with you?" Chloe demanded the minute the door was closed, crossing his arm and staring him down, not letting him get away from her. "You've been avoiding my calls, you won't answer my texts, I've barely seen you! Why are you avoiding me?" 

"I... I thought you'd need space," he whispered faintly, avoiding her unwavering stare. Before he could say anything more, she flew forward and wrapped her arms around him, half-crushing him in her embrace. Almost awkwardly, he patted her on the back, unsure of what to do. 

"Lucifer..." she breathed into his ear. "I just want my partner back. And I'm not upset. You never lied to me. It was just a bit of a shock, that's all. I've missed you, idiot. "

Lucifer gave a watery smile, and was just glad that she couldn't see the tear dripping down his cheek. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ey! End of this one! Our favourite partnership are reunited at last! Hope you enjoyed this. Love y'all xx


	4. Number 4: Dan

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When a stakeout goes wrong, Dan is chucked headfirst into the world of divinity, and in a moment of weakness for the man he thought to be invincible, he realises just how damaged Lucifer is.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Everyone's favourite Douche is here! We love him, don't we, really? Thinking of doing a fic showing Lucifer watching Bo Burnham with Chloe on movie date night and the song 'From God's Perspective' hitting a little too close to home. Would any of you enjoy that? Please let me know in the comments. Anyhow, lovelies, back to the action! Please enjoy!

Stakeouts had never really been Lucifer's thing. Even before the revelation incident, he'd been fidgety, barely able to keep still for longer than a few seconds at a time. As a result, Chloe often avoided bringing him along in a squad car, allowing him to wait around the corner in a bar somewhere, provided he didn't get absolutely smashed in the process. Somehow, he never seemed to manage it, and she'd seen the speed at which he could drink. 

Anyhow, this was a stakeout that Lucifer had vehemently campaigned for weeks to be included in. They were working a case, a big one, concerning an international trafficking ring. It mostly specialised in child and adolescent sex slaves, children snatched from their homes and teenagers seduced into danger by the promise of money, luxury, love, a life in which they would want for nothing. When Chloe asked why this case was so important to him, Lucifer's face had hardened and he had stopped playing with the rubber band ball on her desk. 

"No-one can turn my stomach like those who prey on the innocent and their ignorance to the evil in the world, especially those who prey on children," he told her, his jaw clenched. "There's a very special place waiting for these men in hell, I can promise you that."

Chloe decided not to ask any more questions. 

However, she did intend to ask a few whilst they waited in the car. It would be just the two of them, and she had some very pressing questions about Cain, mortality and the nature of God (who was  _actually_ Lucifer's father: wow, that was weird to think about). They were outside a warehouse, concealed in a bashed-up looking Honda so they wouldn't attract any unwanted attention. According to their, ahem, extremely reliable source, they were waiting for a minibus. It was said to have a very distinctive scratch on the back, in the shape of a dolphin. Apparently it had been done by one of the teenage girls before she was sold on. Chloe couldn't bear to think where she was now. 

"Are you okay, detective?"  

Lucifer's soft, silky voice pulled her out of her thoughts, and she started a little before turning to him with a small smile. 

"Yeah, I'm fine," she said. 

"Lying, detective." 

"Look, it's just..." she stammered, unsure of what to say. His face fell, and he looked back down at whatever childish game he was playing on his phone. He looked dejected. 

"I shouldn't have asked," he murmured. "I'm sorry." 

"Lucifer, it's fine," she assured him, putting a hand over his phone and forcing him to look up at her. "I just get worried about Trixie on these cases. I mean, this could so easily be her." 

"Please," Lucifer laughed, stowing his phone in his pocket and taking Chloe's hand. "That little urchin is perfectly safe from any human scum. She has Hell's most skilled torturer and the Devil himself watching over her, not to mention an angel in heaven and the most talented detective in the whole of the LAPD. Anyhow, they would barely get ten feet with her before she talked their ears off and they brought her back out of annoyance." 

Chloe let out a teary chuckle, pulling Lucifer towards her and wrapping her arms around him. He tensed for a moment before letting himself relax, one arm slipping around her shoulders. 

"Why did Pierce- I mean, Cain, try to make me fall in love with him?" she asked him, her voice soft. 

Lucifer paused for a moment, considering how he was going to answer. 

"Well, my dear, I suppose he must have heard about my little mortality sitch, and therefore decided that it might remove that infernal mark of his."

He said this gently, but his arm around her shoulder unconsciously tightened. 

"'Mortality sitch'?" she asked. 

"Well, when I'm around you," he replied, his fingers dawdling down her arm. "I appear to be vulnerable. Not just emotionally, but... physically, as well."

"So, when you're around me..." 

"I feel pain. I can be hurt, yes." 

That was almost too much for Chloe to take. She took a deep breath, her hand on Lucifer's waistcoat tightening. 

"Lucif-" 

"And on the other hand, love, our target is here," he interrupted, pointing out towards the entrance to the warehouse. Chloe squinted, and sure enough, there it was. And there was the dolphin, standing out like a glowing scar on the back of the minibus. She chose to ignore its origins, and scrambled for her radio. Lucifer stopped her. "Too early. Don't want to give the game up, do we?" 

She nodded, breathing hard. They watched together, in disgust and horror, as kid after kid after kid was lead off the bus. Scared. Dirty. Traumatised. Almost all of them, with the exception of one or two, were in pyjamas. New arrivals, apparently. Not only little girls, boys as well. Ages ranging all the way from fourteen to as young as two or three. It made Chloe feel sick to her stomach, but she sat up now, untangling herself from Lucifer. The kids were lead into the warehouse by masked men, all with guns. When one of the smaller children whimpered just a little, a gun was thrust to their head. They instantly fell silent. 

"Lucifer, we have to get out there before any of those kids get hurt," Chloe hissed. 

"I agree," Lucifer said. "Don't follow me until I say so." 

Before she could stop him, he was out of the car and slinking across the yard to the entrance. He made barely a sound, and the traffickers didn't seem to hear him. Lucifer hid himself behind the open door. Just before the door shut, he flashed the detective a smile and slipped into the warehouse. 

"Hello, kidnappers!" she soon heard. 

She waited with baited breath. Then she heard them. 

Gunshots. 

She leapt for her radio, firing off a message quick-fire. 

"It's Decker, backup needed at warehouse near Santa Monica beach, possible man down, send an ambulance! Possible hostage situation." 

She chose to ignore the rising panic in her voice. 

"Chloe, stay out of there!" Dan's voice came through the radio, but she was already getting out of the car and sprinting towards the warehouse. 

"He's my partner!" she yelled into the radio. "I can't abandon him!" 

"Shit! I'll be there soon!" 

The line went dead. 

Chloe wrenched the door to the warehouse open to a scene of absolute carnage. Lucifer was engaged in a fight with four huge guys, barely holding them off. The children were huddled in a corner, clutching at each other for protection. The older ones were shielding the little ones. Chloe raised her gun and fired off two shots. One went through a perp's shoulder and the other through another's knee, sending them both to the ground with squeals of pain. The other two turned to see where the shots had come from, giving Lucifer chance to hit them over the head, knocking them out cold. 

"Not your worst move, detective," Lucifer huffed, walking towards her and purposely stepping on the unconscious one's head. 

"You look after the kids, I'll sort these out," she said urgently. He nodded and went over to the small huddle, squatting down to their level. Soon, his soothing tones drifted across the warehouse, and Chloe knew that they would be okay. She was knelt down, checking vital signs and whatnot. She was so busy with the unconscious ones that she didn't see one of the ones that she had shot grasp at his gun and raise it towards her before it was too late. 

"DETECTIVE!" 

"CHLOE!" 

In a flash, Lucifer was in the bullet's path before it could reach her. It made impact with his thigh, and he grunted in pain as he collapsed onto one knee, clutching at his injured leg with shaking hands. Despite Chloe's frantic gesturing for him to get down, he, with many small sounds of pain, crawled over to the children again. Before Chloe knew what was happening, Lucifer unfurled his wings and spread them around himself and the children, creating a protective cocoon around them just as Dan's gun fired, sending the perp down once and for all this time. Dan's gun quickly clattered to the ground and he ran towards Chloe, collapsing to his knees next to her. 

"Are you okay?" he asked frantically. 

 "I'm fine," she answered breathlessly before she looked over to see the quickly fading light from Lucifer's wings. He was tiring fast. "But Lucifer isn't. Lucifer!"

"I'm here, detective!" Lucifer called back. His voice was a little weak, but there nonetheless. "Watch out, the other one's got a-" 

Another gunshot rang through the room. On instinct, Chloe and Dan ducked, but the bullet wasn't headed in their direction, and it wasn't meant for them: it was headed for Lucifer's wings. They barely heard the impact, but Lucifer's inhuman scream was enough. 

_"Dad, please!"_

_Everybody in the Silver City knew that if you truly wanted to hurt an angel, then you targeted their wings. Samael thought that was why his father was suspending him in mid-air by his wing-tips in the city square, although he wasn't too sure about the humiliation factor. The bases of his wings, where the feathers met his back, were burning, screaming to be released, to have the pressure relieved from them._

_"How many times do I have to tell you before it gets through your thick head, boy?" the Creator growled, giving his son a small shake. "You are to call me Father!"_

_"Why are you doing this, Father!?" Samael sobbed, unable to control his tears any longer._

_"You know exactly what you did, boy!" the Creator roared, his eyes flashing so angrily that the small crowd that had accumulated shuffled backwards a little._

_"No, I don't!"_

_"You ignorant swine!"_

_The Creator suddenly let his son drop to the ground with a loud crash. Samael groaned with a mixture of relief and pain. He glanced up at his father from the floor, not even bothering to stand. He knew that his knees would give way if he tried._

_"You know exactly what you did!" the Creator seethed, small specks of spit flying from his mouth as he spoke. "You did exactly the opposite of what I told you to do in an open act of defiance, you ungrateful-"_

_"I kissed a human, so what?"_

_A ripple of shock made its way through the crowd and they all gasped in an almost theatrical manner at this admission._

_"An unfinished one, which I now have to scrap! You see-"_

_"It didn't mean anything!"_

_"That's not the-"_

_"So why are you-"_

_"YOU WILL NOT INTERRUPT ME!"_

_The Creator yelled this in a thunderous, booming voice, and everyone fell silent as the sky swirled, a great grey cauldron of pure wrath. Samael looked up in fear, shielding his head with his arms just like that day in the garage with the first black hole. If this was the end, Samael thought, he supposed he'd had an okay existence. He loved his brothers and sisters to death, and he cared so deeply for his mother that he thought he might just burst sometimes. But his father... his father seemed to love him so much sometimes, but only when he wanted something, it seemed. When he needed a new galaxy, or he wanted a sun for some solar system he was making. Apparently the one with the planet these humans were going on._

_Samael hadn't meant to mess it up, truly, but the woman that his father had been creating was so beautiful. He'd caught peeks of her through the basement door. She had thick, flowing, curly brunette hair, not unlike his own. And luscious, full lips. Soft, green eyes like the emeralds in the doorknocker, staring unseeingly ahead. He'd waited until his mother and father were having another one of their raging arguments, and he snuck down to the basement, closing the door silently behind him._

_"Um, hello?" he called softly, brushing his fingers against the woman's cheek. Her skin was smooth, perfect. To his surprise, her eyes turned to him, and she smiled, letting him see a flash of her perfectly straight white teeth._

_"Hi," she said. She had a soft accent much like his mother's and his brothers'. He and his father had a different accent altogether, which baffled Samael. He gaped at the woman in front of him, babbling a little._

_"You're... you're really pretty," he stammered shyly, blushing. She smiled at him, looking down at her naked, curvy body before looking back into his eyes._

_"Thank you," she replied. "You're not too bad yourself."_

_He couldn't stop himself. He didn't even realise what was happening until his lips were on her's, and his hand was resting on her back, and she was pressed against him, her flesh warm, and then the basement door opened, and then his father was dragging him away, and he was thrown in the punishment room, and it was dark, only dark, and he was terrified, and all he wanted was his mother, but she couldn't hear him through the blackness..._

"LUCIFER!" 

The detective's yell brought him back, and he realised that the faint screaming that was ringing in his ears was his own. He clamped his mouth tightly shut, clutching two especially small children to his chest as two more shots rang out across the warehouse. The man, the one who had shot Lucifer, let out a pained shouted, and then Lucifer heard him slump to the floor. He was dead. Lucifer could smell it. 

The bullet wounds were burning, and he couldn't take it anymore, letting his wings flap out. The children were staring up at him with open mouths. 

"Go," he rasped to them, motioning towards where he knew the detective and Daniel were. "Get out of here." 

"But what about you?" one of the teenagers, a gangly boy with a curly ginger mop of hair, an acne-ridden face and black-rimmed glasses, said, gesturing nervously to Lucifer's bleeding leg. 

"I'll be fine. GO!" 

The kids scrambled up one-by-one and ran towards where Lucifer had gestured. Once they had all gone, and Lucifer was sure they were safe, he allowed himself to slump onto the beautifully cold floor, panting. He barely had the strength to clutch at his leg. 

When he felt the hand on his back, he immediately flinched away. It wasn't the detective, her hands were much daintier. Daniel, then. He had managed to lay his hand right between his wings, and had brought all of those memories rushing forward. 

"Lucifer, dude, you're gonna be okay..." Dan babbled, one hand gently brushing the wound on his wing. "Chloe, what do we do?" 

"We need to get him to Linda's!" the detective called from the other side of the room, where she was securing the scene and checking the kids over. Not that Lucifer could see that. He was on his side, facing the wall. His head was swimming, and he gave one last faint smile. 

The last thing he heard was Dan's faint  _"fuck!"_ before he fell into unconsciousness. 

8888888

"-ifer? Lucifer? Can you hear me?" 

Lucifer let out a small grunt from the back of his throat to let whoever it was that was talking know that he was alive. Someone was holding his eyelid open, flashing a penlight in his eyes. He groaned, pushing it away.

"That's the Lucifer we know," someone else said. That was the detective, wasn't it? Her voice sounded teary, and Lucifer was immediately wide awake, trying to force himself to sit up as he blinked furiously, trying to clear his vision. 

"Careful," Linda's voice came, warning him. It was her hands on his shoulders, then, gently pushing him back down. He groaned again as the material of the sofa rubbed his wings just the wrong way. 

"He okay?" the Douche's worried voice said from the other side of the room. He sounded incredibly anxious, and Lucifer didn't think it was for his well-being. 

"I'm fine, Daniel," Lucifer forced himself to say, gently slapping Linda's hand away and forcing himself to sit up, clutching at the back of the sofa for well-needed support. 

"Really?" Dan shot back, sounding skeptical. "Cos you were yelling some pretty fucked-up stuff in the car ride over here. Asking for your mother, begging with your fath-" 

"I assure you that I am fine," Lucifer said sharply, glaring at him as if daring him to continue talking. "You're taking the whole divinity thing remarkably well, Daniel. I didn't think you had it in you."

"Yeah, well..." Dan said, chuckling nervously. "Existential crisis later. You were hurt, man. You needed help." 

Before Lucifer could respond, and before the atmosphere in the room got too awkward, Chloe cleared her throat and gently ran a hand across Lucifer's wing. The fallen angel immediately flinched away. 

"Please," he said beggingly, looking at her with vulnerable, tear-filled eyes. "Don't." 

"Okay," Chloe said, snatching her hand away guiltily. "I'm sorry. You know you can talk to me, though? Anytime." 

Lucifer nodded, but he closed his eyes against the scene, the pitying looks. If they were going to hear the story, it wasn't going to be here, he was sure of it. 

The Devil refused to be sympathized, even when he needed it most. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another chapter in the bag! Next chapter should be up soon. Next up: our favourite demon, Maze! Thank you for reading, and hope you enjoyed Xxx


	5. Number 5: Maze and Amenadiel

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lucifer returns to the precinct a hero, but he's plagued by nightmares of the rebellion. So, when Maze and his infuriatingly concerned brother show up asking for answers, what is he supposed to say?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Our two favourite celestial beings are here! I'm uploading these crazy fast right now, and I'm not quite sure how I'm doing it. I do hope you're all enjoying these, and the overarching glue of angst and h/c that keeps us all going, hm? Anyhow, enjoy this mind-dump XD

Everyone kept telling him that he was a hero, but he didn't feel like a hero. 

Thanks to a one Mr Alfonso Alghero, Lucifer was walking with a bit of a limp, and had been for the last few days since the shootout at the warehouse. The detective had insisted on leaving him at his penthouse and leaving him so that he would heal faster. Normally, Lucifer would have been fine with it, but these past few days, he had been feeling as if something fundamental inside him was missing somehow. Linda had been staying with him, mainly to make sure his wing injury healed properly, and he hadn't dared to bring it up with her, nor the fact that he had never more desired to lop the damn feathery things right off his back. Anyhow. 

The moment he limped his way into the bullpen, he was assaulted from all angles by streamers and balloons and yells of "Welcome back!" from the officers. He managed to crack a smile, but only because he caught sight of Chloe by her desk, a ridiculous cone-shaped hat perched on her head. She was grinning at him, the urchin by her side with a huge smile on her face, looking as if she wanted to barrel into Lucifer. The club owner was glad that Chloe had a firm grip on her offspring, given the dull ache growing on his leg. 

"Really, I was only gone four days!" he chuckled, accepting a plate of chocolate cake from a B-cop, but refusing a hat. His leg was starting to struggle now, shaking a little and barking angrily at him that it did  _not_ at all appreciate all the unaided walking. Luckily, Ella spotted him in the crowd and came to his rescue, slipping her arm under his. He leant on her, breathing a sigh of relief. 

"You looking for Chloe?" she asked, her tone chatty. 

"Already found her, just having a little trouble getting there," he joked. 

"I heard what you did," Ella said, glancing quickly up at him. He raised an eyebrow to her, taking a bite of cake. "Taking that bullet for Chloe. And for what it's worth, I think everything that people say about the Devil, I think it's wrong. Evil incarnate wouldn't do that for someone." 

Lucifer opened his mouth to say something, but he got a bit choked up, and he had to close it again before he said something stupidly sentimental or he started crying or something silly like that. He gave her a look though, and her arm a small squeeze, to try and let her know just how much those words meant to him. 

"Chloe Decker, a one Mr Lucifer Morningstar," Ella announced as they stopped by Chloe's desk. The detective's eyes lit up, as did the spawn's. 

"Lucifer!" Trixie cried, launching towards him before stopping herself, seemingly remembering his injury. Gently, she wrapped her arm around his uninjured leg, hugging hard. 

"Ah, yes, spawn," he said, awkwardly patting her on the head. 

"Here, Lucifer, sit down," Chloe said quickly, pulling out a chair for him. Spinning, of course. She was rewarded when Lucifer sat himself down and immediately began to spin round and round. "I swear to God you are five years old," she said as she chuckled. 

"What's the point of living if you're not going to have some fun?" he asked with his mouth full, cake crumbs spraying all over her desk. She didn't mind, simply giving him a small smile. 

"Eugh. Get a room already, you two." 

They all looked up to see Maze standing there, her arms folded and a disgusted look on her face. It wasn't reaching her eyes, though, and Chloe knew that it wasn't genuine. Behind her, sort of cowering, stood Amenadiel, and Chloe suddenly realised that she hadn't seen him since Charlotte's death, and that had been almost two months ago. Judging by the shocked look on Lucifer's face, neither had he. 

"Brother..." he stammered, his eyes wide. 

"Hey, Luci," Amenadiel replied softly. Maze reached out to take Lucifer's cake, but the Lord of Hell moved the plate out of the way and flashed Maze a furious look, subduing her immediately. Chloe was once again reminded that he used to run Hell (something that still freaked her out a little whenever she thought about it). 

"Where have you been?" Lucifer breathed, the anger melted from his face as he looked back at his brother. 

"That's not important, brother," Amenadiel replied, seemingly not noticing the muscles in Lucifer's back tighten slightly. 

"You've been gone for two months, I think it's pretty damn important!"Lucifer shouted. His voice was trembling and his hands shook just the tiniest bit as he reached to put down his plate (which was quickly snaffled by Maze). "Just... tell me where you were. Please, brother." 

Chloe watched the two closely as Amenadiel's shoulders dropped a little, and he looked at his brother pleadingly. Lucifer stared straight back, an unwavering stare that showed that he clearly wasn't taking any shit today. To be fair, Lucifer did look a little worse for wear, but she assumed that was just because he'd been shot a few days ago. 

"I was, um..." Amenadiel stammered, clearing his throat. "I went to the Silver City, to take Charlotte. And I, um, sort of ended up staying there for a while." 

"You... went back there?" Lucifer whispered. He sounded incredibly broken, scared, even. 

"Brother, I-" 

"I don't want to hear it, Amenadiel," Lucifer snapped, hauling himself up and pushing past his brother. Chloe could do nothing but watch helplessly as he limped into the interrogation room, slipping through the crowd unnoticed and closing the door behind him. She could have sworn she heard him let out a sob the second his back was turned. 

"Amenadiel, what was that?" she asked incredulously, gesturing towards the interrogation room. 

"The Silver City drags up some unpleasant memories for Lucifer," Amenadiel said. He wasn't meeting Chloe's eyes, looking down at his fidgeting hands. "Especially at this time in the century. I shouldn't have mentioned it." 

Chloe's eyes widened as she started to realise what Lucifer was about to go through, was probably already going through. She cast a nervous glance to the interrogation room. The doors were still firmly closed. 

"Amenadiel, is he a danger to himself right now?" she asked urgently. 

"I mean, I don't know," stammered the angel. "He's always been down in hell before." 

Maze was already up before Chloe even looked at her. 

"He'd just slouch on his throne and be a bit depressed for a few days," she said offhandedly, waving her fork around. "Wouldn't torture with as much vigor as normal."  

"I have to-" Chloe started to say, but Maze shook her head. 

"Decker, leave it to us," the demon said, giving Amenadiel a punch on the arm. "C'mon, big man. Let's go and fix your brother." 

Chloe watched them as they sauntered into the viewing area of the interrogation, Maze dragging Amenadiel behind her determinedly. The angel gave her a helpless look before the door closed. She was lost in her thoughts for a moment, but then Trixie tugged at her arm and she looked down at her daughter, all of her attention on the little girl. 

"Why is Lucifer so sad sometimes?" Trixie asked, as innocent as could be. "Why does he get so touchy about his dad?" 

Chloe took a deep breath, unsure of how to answer her daughter's question. She cleared her throat, taking the chair that Lucifer had been sitting on and sitting down, placing Trixie on her lap. 

"Well..." she said. She had to stop again, trying to think how to phrase it to a nine-year-old. "Well, er, when Lucifer was little, his father didn't, um... treat him very nicely." 

"Did his dad hurt him?" Trixie asked seriously, her eyebrows quirking downwards. 

"I don't know, Monkey," she said, and she was being honest. She had no idea. "But sometimes, we have to be very gentle with him, when he's feeling sad, because his father wasn't nice to him like me and your dad are when you're sad." 

Trixie's frown grew deeper as she looked up at her mother, glancing up at the interrogation room door. 

"Is that why he doesn't like hugs?" 

"You know, monkey, it might just be," Chloe said distractedly, watching the room and wondering what the hell had happened to the poor man. 

_Samael wasn't Samael anymore._

_He was done with it. He was so done with all of it. He was done with being his father's pawn. His father got the credit for something that he did! His father hadn't lit up the night sky, he had. And he was going to own it. His new name meant Light bringer (just like that nickname his mother used to have for him, when she still cared). It meant the Morning star._

_His new name was Lucifer._

_Gathered around him, on the fringes of the Silver City, were various nephilim, cherubim, the lower denominations of angel. They too were done with the Creator's shit. They wanted what the humans had. They refused to be manipulated any longer. They wanted choice. To do what they wanted when they wanted. Not to be controlled._

_"Do we all know what we're doing?" Lucifer whispered. His eyes flicked to his favourite nephilim on his right side, a woman named Utriarya (Ary for short), and he smiled at her. "Ary, ready to join me?"_

_"Always, Luce," she said, winking at him. He liked her cheek._

_"Okay," Lucifer said, grabbing a branch from the ground and sketching out a small diagram of the town square in the dust, in the middle of the circle they had all formed. "So, A regiment, I want you to storm the right atrium. B, the left. C, you're the back and any exits. Now, Special Regiment, you're with me and Ary facing the old man himself."_

_"Um, Lucifer, do you really think that storming your father right now is the best idea?" a nervous cherubim called from the back, with the name Dhorme. "I mean, he knows something's brewing. He threw out the flaming sword yesterday!_

_"Trust me, Dhorme, that's all I'm asking," Lucifer said sharply, but he flashed him a smile. "Right. Ready to get our free will?"_

_The cheer that resounded from the circle was almost deafening. Lucifer smirked._

_"Let's do this."_

_888888_

_The battle that ensued was brutal. Many were slain mercilessly. Lucifer had watched himself, frozen in place, as his own brother Michael slayed Ary. His Ary. Gone, forever. Killed using Azrael's blade (a gift to his sister only the previous day. It not only killed you but obliterated your soul). That's why Lucifer himself had been captured. He'd been staring at Ary's body, drowning in his sorrow, so deep in his thoughts that he didn't hear Jophiel sneak up behind him until it was too late. He was hit over the head with something incredibly heavy, and the last thing he saw was the anger in his father's eyes before he fell unconscious._

_When he woke up, everything was dark and he knew he was in the punishment room. Really, he was too big for it now, being 15 millennia old and everything. His legs were twisted uncomfortably so they were half-over his head, and he was almost vertical, but not quite. When he tried to lift his head, his neck gave a painful twinge, as did the back of his skull, and he groaned deeply. He splayed his fingers out, trying to summon even the smallest light, but when he moved his hands, he heard the tell-tale **clink clank**_ _of chains. The same happened when he moved his feet. It was only when he tried to move his wings that he felt the true shackles. His wings were being held down by thick leather bonds, and his father had done something to them so they were unbreakable. The second his wings tried to force their way out of them, the bonds would tug at the most sensitive feathers, the ones at the base of the wings, causing excruciating pain to Lucifer._

_"Dad!" he tried to call into the darkness. His voice echoed around the tiny room, and it really was tiny. He could barely fit without some serious contortion, which he was already showing off. "Dad, please! I'm sorry!"_

_"No, you're not," his father's booming voice came out of seemingly nowhere. "You're just saying that to get out of here."_

_"I'm not! It was a stupid, impulsive decision, I can see that now!"_

_"You were jealous, Samael."_

_"That's not my name!"_

_His father fell silent for a long time, and Lucifer was scared that he had left him forever to rot in this tiny cupboard of a room. He began to shake out of fear, and with every tremour that passed through his body, the leather bonds gave a sharp tug at his wings. He was left sobbing and in extreme amounts of pain._

_"You named yourself Lucifer?"_

_The return of his father's voice startled him considerably and he jumped rather violently, which of course sent another wave of pain across his back. He bit back a scream of agony and looked towards where he knew the locked door was beggingly._

_"Yes, I did, father," he said, sounding much braver than he felt. "It means-"_

_"Light bringer, yes, I know," the Creator interrupted. He sounded more than a little irked._

_"I was proud of what I created, father. Not you, I!"_

_The anger, the rage which had built in the pit of his stomach at the injustice of everything, was returning with a renewed fire. How dare his father lock he, the Morning star, in here! It was completely._

_"You will be sentenced tomorrow," his father said calmly. "I hope you are ready for your fate, Samael."_

_When his father's voice disappeared, Lucifer knew that it was the beginning of the end for him._

Lucifer woke with a start with the last remnants of a scream dying in his throat and Maze's face in his. He let out a startled gasp, automatically trying to scramble backwards despite the fact that the metal chair in which he had fallen asleep was bolted to the floor. Once he realised who it was, he breathed out a small sigh of relief. 

"Bloody hell, you scared me, Mazikeen!" he laughed, trying to keep it casual. It didn't work. 

"Exactly," Maze said pointedly. "The Lord of Hell doesn't get scared. I get it's that time of the century, but what the hell is going on with you?" 

At the mere mention of hell, Lucifer had to hold back a wince, but he couldn't stop his wings from twitching under his skin. Amenadiel, who was in the corner, gave him a strange look. 

"I'm fine," Lucifer said quickly, forcing himself to stand despite the throbbing pain in his leg. He grinned at his brother, and then at Maze. "Now, if you'll excuse me, I believe there is a party out there for me, and you know I'm never one to miss a chance to celebrate me." 

He was gone, having limped out of there before Maze or Amenadiel could say another word. They both turned to the one-way mirror, which soon flickered to reveal Detective Decker on the other side. She looked haunted. 

"What the  _hell_ did his father do to him?" she said. Her fists were clenched at her side, and her voice had a slight growl to it. 

"I have no idea," Maze responded. When Chloe looked at Amenadiel, he just shrugged. Chloe took a deep breath and looked through the glass in the door. Lucifer was standing in the middle of a circle of officers, with Trixie balanced on his hip, looking just  _too_ natural. Even so, she could tell that he was hurting. 

"What happened to you?" she whispered. 

And Chloe Decker was nothing if not determined. 


	6. +1: Chloe

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Chloe decides to pop by Lux in an attempt to find out the truth about Lucifer's past. She's a detective: isn't that what she does? However, when she finds Lucifer in the midst of a flashback, she'd suddenly got a lot more than she bargained for.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Of course Chloe was the plus-one! Who else would Lucifer open up to? On an off-hand, my English teacher gave me a bag of chocolate today cos she liked my work, so that's cool. On with the story! I'm a little sad that this is the last chapter, but I have some ideas for oneshots lined up that link to some of the headcanons I've outlined in this (mainly to do with the Punishment Room, and I don't know where that ever came from XD), so hopefully coming soon, hm? Anyhow, please do enjoy this last chapter my lovelies, and please remember to comment and leave kudos! Trigger warnings for self-harm/self-mutilation/slight suicidal thoughts. I've had an a crazy week at school so I'm sorry that this is so late out, and I've had an absolutely shit few days so don't expect too many good things lol.  
> TAKES PLACE PRETTY MUCH DIRECTLY AFTER THE LAST CHAPTER

Lux's atmosphere was a strange one. Chloe had always thought it, even from that first case with that poor girl shot right outside the club. Lucifer had once described the club as a  _den of iniquity_ , and Chloe agreed wholeheartedly with that evaluation. The amount of drug activity that went on in that place, and she was pretty sure the body shots that took pride of place on the drinks menu weren't exactly FDA approved. Despite all of that, this was Lucifer's home, and she respected that. Lately, she had been wondering whether he'd modeled this place after hell, or maybe heaven. She highly doubted that he had, but she was still curious. If hell was like this, so open, it didn't seem that bad, really. And Lux was. Open, she meant. There were barely any doors, if any at all, and the penthouse was so airy, an open floor plan that sprawled across the entirety of the top floor. Chloe was a little jealous, if she was being truly honest. 

She didn't have time to reminisce today. Lucifer had left the precinct hurriedly after Chloe had approached him to get Trixie, who had a birthday party to attend. He had handed the small girl back to her mother and, promptly making his excuses, left. She had watched out of the window as his convertible sped away, tires squealing. 

She'd done everything right. She'd already been to Linda's office...

_"Linda!" Chloe called as she burst into the therapist's office. Luckily, she wasn't with a patient, and looked up at Chloe, startled._

_"Are you okay?" Linda said, her voice worried._

_"It's Lucifer, I need to know anything you know about his past," Chloe said quickly, stumbling over her words. "Please, Linda!"_

_Linda's mouth was set in a straight yet apologetic line. She got up from her chair and guided Chloe to the couch, forcing her to sit before sitting opposite her, crossing her legs._

_"I can't tell you, Chloe, you know that," she said. "Doctor-patient confidentiality. I can't say-"_

_"I think Lucifer's about to do something really stupid and I need to stop him before he does," Chloe blurted. At Linda's questioning look, she kept talking. "Something happened, at the precinct. He, um, he had something, a nightmare, I think. About his father. And something to do with his wings. He kept begging for them to be released."_

_Linda's face went slack, and Chloe knew that she'd hit something, something major._

_"Is he a danger to himself?" Linda asked, careful to keep her tone even._

_Chloe couldn't bring herself to speak, so she just nodded._

_Linda sighed heavily before going to her desk and pulling out a folder._

_"I really hope you're ready for this," she said before opening the first page of the huge file._

Linda had told her that if he was going to do something to himself, he was most likely to try and cut off his wings. Again. Because apparently he'd done that  _multiple_ times. Linda had surreptitiously removed all of the demon blades (forged in Hell which were apparently one of the only things that Lucifer could use to... y'know...) whilst she'd been staying, but Lucifer was crafty. He could have more hidden. Chloe shuddered as she thought about it. Imagine removing a piece of you, completely chopping it off without any anesthetic or anything. Jogging towards the entrance to the club, she threw her keys to the concierge on the door. It was one she recognised, Patrick. 

"Hey, Decker, boss said he isn't taking any visitors today," the young man said, catching Chloe's arm before she could go in. Frustrated, she flashed her badge at him. 

"This is police work, Patrick," she said. "Your boss is about to do something idiotic and I need to stop him." 

Patrick stopped, thinking hard about it. Finally, he sighed and let her go, opening the door for her. 

"You're lucky the boss likes you," he warned. 

Thanking him profusely over her shoulder, Chloe sprinted through the club. It was only just after midday, so the club was closed. It was so strange empty. It felt bleak, missing its usual bouncy energy. Strangely, Chloe found that she didn't like it one little bit. Shaking it off, she jumped into the elevator, wishing it would go so much faster than it was going. As she journeyed up, she ran her finger along the ornate gold edging under the mirror on the back of the elevator. It was exquisite, but today was not the day to dawdle about thinking about Lucifer's architecture choices! The elevator dinged, and she almost fell over in her eagerness to get to the penthouse. 

For a second, she was scared that she would walk in and everything would be covered in white sheets, just like after her poisoning. However, when she walked out, she heard the crunch of glass under her shoe, and her foot squelched in what was presumably a very expensive whiskey (now soaking into Lucifer's antique cherry wood flooring), and she knew that he was here. That, and the faint sobbing. 

"Lucifer?" she called cautiously, holding her hand out as she walked slowly forward. "It's me, Chloe. No-one's with me, I promise." 

When she was in the academy, she remembers doing negotiation training. They'd done talking down a shooter, calming down a violent offender, but it was the last of training that struck her the hardest. It was about talking down a suicidal person. Perhaps someone who wanted to jump off a building, or wanted to shoot their own brains out. She'd been lucky enough to never have to use it in her time, but she had a horrible feeling that she was going to have to use it now as she rounded the corner. 

Lucifer was kneeling by the glass door to his balcony, which was thrown open. His wings were spread out to their full length, and now Chloe could see them fully, she realised how big they were, about seven or eight feet in diameter. His shirt with off, and she couldn't see his hands. If she hadn't know better, she would have said that he was praying. 

"Detective," he said. His voice was hoarse and quiet. "I knew you'd come." 

"Of course I'd come," she said. "I needed to make sure you were okay." 

"Thank you." 

He was laughing as he said it, but it wasn't his usual laugh, full of happiness or disdain or just  _any_ emotion. It was hollow, haunting. 

"For what?" she asked carefully. 

"For helping me," he replied simply. 

In a flash, he raised his hand above his head and maneuvered it round to his back, right where the base of his wings were. She barely caught the glint of the light bouncing off of the piece of glass in his hand, but she was luckily she did. She screamed his name as she launched herself forward, watching in horror as he began to saw at his wings, crying out in pain as he did so, as the blood began to run down his back. The glass wasn't sharp, far from it, in fact. She couldn't imagine the pain that he must have been in. 

Flying forwards, she grabbed his wrist, twisting it like she did whenever she was disarming criminals. Lucifer let out a yell of pain, but he dropped the blood-stained glass. He wasn't facing her still, but she could hear him trying to hide his tears, his breaths deep and shuddering as his free hand scrabbled for another piece of glass (there were many scattered around him). Chloe simply grabbed that wrist as well, holding his hands behind his back. He was a danger to himself, she told herself. This was for his own good. 

"Chloe,  _please_!" he screamed. His voice was thick with tears, and he choked out a sob. "I need to do this!" 

"I'm not letting you mutilate yourself!" she shouted back, barely holding back tears herself. Looking down at his wings, she saw that the left one had a deep cut in the base where he had been sawing. It was seeping blood, and she was shocked at just how deep it had gone, nearly an inch. It was going to need stitches, something she wasn't qualified. 

Lucifer was openly crying now. It was only soft, but the snivels and sobs that were coming from him honestly terrified Chloe. This man, this cocky, funny, self-absorbed, loyal, righteous man wasn't supposed to be trying to cut himself and crying in her arms. Shaking off the thought, she reached for her cuffs and, screwing her eyes tightly shut, she snapped them onto his wrists. He looked up at her, surprised and shocked. She could barely look at him, with his tear-stained cheeks and his red eyes. 

"De-Detective?" he said hesitantly, not quite able to make eye contact with her. 

"It's for your own safety, Lucifer," she said, taking her hands off of him and starting to walk around the room, picking up every bit of glass or in fact any sharp object that he could possibly use to hurt himself. All of the razors in his bathroom (which took her a while to find) went. Whilst she was in there, one eye on Lucifer (who was sitting dejectedly right where she had found him, shoulders shaking and wing still bleeding) through the open door, she sent Linda a quick text explaining the situation. All of the knives behind the bar went. When she was satisfied that the penthouse was safe, she went back over, unclicking the handcuffs and leading him gently to the sofa as he rubbed his wrists. 

"What were you thinking!?" she scolded, gently stroking his wing. He flinched violently aware from her, and she could have sworn she saw his eyes flash red for a moment. "How could you cut off your wings? Your beautiful wings?" 

"You-you think they're beautiful?" he asked, his voice breaking a little. 

"Of course!" 

"They're  _disgusting_ ," he snarled, glaring at them over his shoulder. "They are a symbol of my servitude to my father, and I  _refuse_ to be defined by Him." 

Chloe couldn't speak, so she simply gaped at him. Automatically, she began to stroke his feathers again, but this time, he didn't try to move away from her. He sighed a little, and the wings ruffled, but he allowed her to keep doing it. 

"What was your father like?" she found herself saying as she gently pulled at a few feathers that were out of place, combing them into place. 

"Oh, Dad?" he said, snorting. "Dad was a peach. Control-freak, over-worker, credit-hog, take your pick." 

"What do you mean by credit-hog?" she asked. He raised an eyebrow at her. 

"Do you know what my name means in Latin?" he replied. She shook her head, her eyes only leaving the wings for a second before she went back to grooming them, careful to avoid the bases. "It means 'Light bringer'." 

"That's so beautiful..." she whispered, her voice hushed. 

"I know. And I chose because I formed the light. Not him, me. It was all me," he sucked in a deep breath. "All me." 

She did look up at him this time, her mouth hanging open. 

"You... made the stars?" she said in awe. "The sun?" 

"All of it, darling," he answered, his voice gentle. He was beginning to feel a bit calmer now. Talking to Chloe always had that effect on him. "But no,  _Dad_ couldn't take that, could he? So after he threw me out of the house, he decided to write a book to discredit me, to put me down, to vilify me for all eternity!" 

He didn't realise that his fist was clenched until Chloe laid her hand over his, gently massaging his hand until it opened again. He laced their fingers together, giving me a small smile. 

"What did He do to you?" she asked. Her tone was even, but he could tell from the fire in her eyes that she was incredibly pissed. 

"We had a room," he said, trying to stop his voice was shaking. "In the house, I mean. It was on the top floor, next to Dad's study. It was called the Punishment Room. My own personal room, of course." 

"Lucifer..." Chloe said quietly, her face the very picture of dread. "Please don't tell me..." 

"It was black in there," he whispered. "Only blackness. And it was small. Incredibly small. By the time I was ten- millennia, of course, but I looked 10 years of age of your species- it was far too small. Honestly, the acrobatics I used to show off in there," he added, chuckling dryly. "Anyhow. It was a closet, basically. And if I pissed Dad off, in the Punishment Room I went." 

Chloe shook her head wordlessly, putting her hand over her mouth. All of a sudden, Lucifer made so much more sense. The airy penthouse, the convertible, the constant light of the nightclub... he was just desperately trying to forget the horrors of his childhood. 

"What was- um," she choked out, clearing her throat. "What was the longest time you were in there for?" 

"Um..." he said, having to think for a moment. "A century, I think. I kissed one of the humans that he had made, or was making, anyway." 

She shook her head in disbelief. 

"But he's supposed to be..." she stammered, unable to finish the sentence. 

"Omnibenevolent, I know," he replied tiredly, as if he'd been asked this a million times. "Not to me, it seems." 

"Lucifer, that's awful," she said. 

"But that wasn't the worst punishment." 

_"Samael, you are here to be sentenced for your crimes."_

_The Creator's voice boomed over the city square, the very square that Lucifer's forces had stormed just a day before. Eyes wet with tears as he looked towards the spot where Ary had been killed, he refused to look up at his Father. That wasn't his name._

_"Samael."_

_Nothing._

_"SAMAEL!"_

_Lucifer only looked because Michael forced him to, grabbed his head roughly and forced it forwards. Lucifer was tempted to bite his brother's hand and attempt to escape, but the thought of going back to the Punishment Room after his inevitable capture. There wasn't anywhere to go in the Silver City, nowhere to hide._

_"Please, I would like you to address me by my name," he said, his tone civil. "My name is Lucifer."_

_"Lucifer is the embodiment of your greed," his Father replied angrily. "Your pride."_

_"Why shouldn't I be proud, Father?" Lucifer said with a smirk. "Why shouldn't we be allowed the privilege of being allowed to choose our own paths? You allow it for your pet project, so why not your own children?" When the Creator faltered for a moment, Lucifer jumped on it. "I'll tell you why: it's because you can't stand the thought of being unable to control everybody, you manipulative bastard!"_

_He turned back to face his family, his mother. She was clutching his youngest sister, Azrael (Rae-Rae to him) to her skirts. She gave him a very small, almost imperceptible smile, nodding back to his father._

_"Shouldn't we be allowed our own paths?" Lucifer asked. "Shouldn't we be allowed our freedom?"_

_That was the last straw for his Father. The Creator rose from his throne, storming down the golden steps and grabbing Lucifer by the collar of his shirt, easily lifting the fifteen-year-old boy from the ground. Sneering at his son, he dragged him right through the city, the entire population following on his heels, right to the huge silver gates. That's when Lucifer began to get scared._

_"Samael, you have brought this upon yourself," the Creator said, sounding annoyingly self-righteous. "You are clearly a danger to the natural order of things here. You are ungrateful and arrogant, unable to appreciate the beauty of the life you have been given here. Maybe you'll come to appreciate it from Hell."_

_"You-you're casting me out!?" Lucifer exclaimed, his voice panicked as he squirmed against his father's grip. "No no no, please Father, have mercy!"_

_"I have had plenty of that," the Creator replied dryly. "Enjoy Hell, Samael. You're never getting out."_

_With that, he began to drag Lucifer towards the gates. The boy (for that's what his was: a boy; a child) kicked and screamed, begging, calling for his mother, shouting for his brothers to help him. None of them stepped forward, not even Amenadiel.  He stood there the most stoic of them all, arms folded._

_They all watched silently as Lucifer was thrown to Hell._

_The Fall itself was long and arduous, taking so long. He fell, past the Silver City, through the very universe which he had lit up, down, down, down, down..._

_He hit the lakes of sulpher, a huge splash of the burning liquid coming up around him. He screamed in agony as his skin turned from a soft, pale, creamy colour to an angry, bumpy, fiery red. The sulpher leaked to his eyes, turning them red too. Everything was hurting, and it was all hot, damp and confined with ash floating about the place. He needed someone. Company. Extending his fingers, he felt a new, strange power rush from him. He wished, begged, for a friend. And there, when he opened his eyes, stood a woman with soft mocha-coloured skin, and long, straight black hair (although she certainly would not be). For a moment, Lucifer thought that Ary was standing in front of him, but he knew it couldn't be._

_"My Lord," the creature said, bowing down low to him._

_"Wh-what are you?" he stammered, trying to stand. The pain struck him and he cried out, collapsing to one knee._

_"A demon," she replied, cocking her head. "What am I to be named, Master?"_

_"What do you want to be named?" he asked. Fuck his Dad. He was going to give these creatures all the free will they wanted._

_"M...M...Mazikeen," she answered, confident once she had chosen a name. "I want to be called Mazikeen."_

_"Will you help me, Mazikeen?" he asked tentatively._

_"Of course, my Lord."_

_And Lucifer allowed himself to cry._

Lucifer couldn't go any further from there, dissolving into tears. Chloe wrapped her arms around him, pulling him close. He returned her embrace gratefully, burying his face in her shoulder as she stroked the back of his head, playing with his hair in a way that was somehow comforting. 

"Lucifer..." she murmured. "Oh, Lucifer... You shouldn't have had to go through that. No-one should, and especially not as kid!" 

"There was nothing you could have done, Detective," he said softly, leaning back and resting a gentle hand on her cheek, brushing away a tear that dripped down her cheek as he sniffed away his own. "Please don't fret too much." 

She let out a choked laugh, squeezing his arm affectionately. 

"I'll always worry about you!" she said, chuckling. "It's my job as a partner." 

"And I you, Detective," he replied warmly. 

"Hey, and if you ever need to talk, about anything, I want you to come straight to me, okay?" she said seriously, looking him in the eye. He smile softly, stroking a stray strand of hair behind her ear. 

"Of course, Detective," he said. 

And he actually meant it this time. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That's the end! I really hoped you enjoyed this. Just to let you know, I will be creating a collection that will group together all of my Lucifer stories which follow this storyline. I already have a couple more planned, so I really hope you will check those out if you enjoyed this. Anyhow, cuddles and kisses (unless you're not into that all, then unlimited of your favourite snacks!) to all of you! Thank you for reading my lil brain dump.


End file.
